Finding Your Confidence
by Emma Holmes
(This article was published in The Purbeck Gazette)
Have you ever found yourself thinking, I wish I had some more confidence at work or with friends? The good news is that confidence can be improved. Being confident applies to different areas of your life. You can be confident socially but not at work, or confident in new situations or confident at a hobby. Nobody is likely to feel confident in all areas of their life, although that may appear to be the case for some people.
If you would like to feel more confident in an area of your life why not try these simple suggestions to see if you can increase your confidence:
- Awareness of strengths
- Goal setting to improve
- Visualising success
Notice what strengths you already have in that skill or experience and list them. There may be more than you think, especially as our brains tend to focus on what we can’t do rather than what we can. Doing this helps to reinforce your positive self perception.
If there is an area to work on, make it a goal and work back from that goal listing what you need to do to achieve it. E.g. I want to be able to deliver a speech to a room of 100 people. To do this I will build up from first delivering it to myself, then to a small group, then to a larger group. By making small steps towards a goal you can build momentum and feel progression which increases your confidence.
Imagine yourself as the confident you, navigating the skill or experience in the way you want to. Take some time to focus on the details of the confident you and consider: What do you do differently, how does it feel? What do you look like in this vision? Visualising helps to reinforce your belief in your ability.
Feeling like you are worthy and valuable is different to confidence, an overarching belief that who you are is good enough refers to our self worth and self esteem. This can take time to work on and can be explored in more depth in therapy or coaching.